Newsletter 2012

Business was terrible at the beginning of this year. It is not an unusual seasonal business trend but this year the doldrums persisted a bit long. Trade winds only started blowing in the second quarter. At last I put the kettle on and I could eat again! Fortunately the trend held and I could afford a holiday, in fact two holidays and a half.

The Gwatamatic
and allied accessories remain my primary source of livelihood. You can catch a glimpse of its manufacture and operation at http://youtu.be/7k0Dyi6UwuQ The value version of the Gwatamatic, called the Baby Gwata

looks set to overtake its heavier brother eventually. However the decent margins on both depend on the Gwatamatic patent which is only six years away from expiry. So I have to come up with another "big-ticket" invention before then.
Moreover, the Warren Buffet principle says never to rely on just one stream of income, no matter how good it happens to be.So for now I have subsidiary inventions growing but none of them is likely to grow as big as the Gwatamatic. They include the Kotomatic (an avocado harvesting implement), Steamatic(a steamer adapter), Kangamatic(a peanut roasting "tumble drier"), Gochamatic (a roasting apparatus for maize-on-the -cob and other foods with axial symmetry) and the Tsotsomatic (a camping stove). The Tsotsomatic only made its debut in formal retail channels on 1 December this year, three years after its invention.

You can watch the Tsotsomatic in action at http://youtu.be/kDJTGTqDFlM
Three years ago the Women's Association ladies of Chakadini Methodist Church ( a rural church that had no electricity supply at the time) asked me to design a cooking apparatus solution for their church conference catering requirements. It had to run on solid fuels, mainly wood, as efficiently as possible. That called for recourse to my school physics as well as a conversation I had in the late eighties with the then Dutch Ambassador' wife. Mrs Faber and her family attended the same church as I did. One day she told me how the flue effect could be harnessed to enhance the efficiency of cooking fires. The flue effect features in the solution I came up with for Chakadini Methodist Church. The result was the Dandamatic.

Its salient features are augmented ventilation (which obviates the need to split the firewood), flue effect, concentric rings that serve dual purposes of focusing the heat where it's required and grabbing saucepans securely. Virtually every saucepan can find somewhere it slots in on that hob. The resulting universal hobs can handle even traditional calabashes and woks. Three years ago the whole effort was a purely voluntary exercise. As time went on I recognized the commercial potential of the design. That is how the Tsotsomatic was born. The Tsotsomatic is just a light-duty portable consumer version of the Dandamatic.

This year has been the silver anniversary of my membership of Highlands Presbyterian Church.

I have never sustained membership of any other institution that long. However in the context of the church's core business of eternal life, twenty five years is really nothing.
Over that period of time we have been lucky to have a string of good ministers who contributed immensely to my spiritual growth. In my turn, I have contributed in modest ways to the life of the church. Probably the most demanding of which was a twelve-year stint as a sound mixing desk operator. This year my involvement over and above regular elders' duties was operating the video projector and sitting on the Chancel Committee (church interior renovation committee). I emphasize "sitting" because whether I actually did any work is open to debate. What is not debatable though is the outcome of the committee's efforts.

For my holidays this year, I used the same Christian holiday company I went to Israel with last year, Oak Hall.
I still had a great time even though I did not travel very far, the safari holiday was largely within Zimbabwe with a few days across in Botswana.

You can read more about the holiday at http://gwataboy.blogspot.com
I had been to many of the sites before but Antelope Park in Gweru was the most transformed since I was last there.They have a profound long-term lion conservation programme in progress.

Tourism opportunities like lion walking http://youtu.be/GmCJcBg--6E are only by-products of the wider conservation effort. That makes it particularly special for me because of its contrast with the plethora of money-making gimmicks all over the tourist circuit.

To recover from the safari I went to a reunion cum Christian conference in the UK.

Comparing notes with other delegates

at the conference, I discovered rave reviews of the Montenegro tour. Before then it was not even on my radar! Now I am determined to get there sometime before I die.

My other agenda in the UK was to look for components for my next gadget and also to explore Silicon Roundabout. While the conference was ace, I did not have too much luck with the other two objectives. Silicon Roundabout is supposed to be a nascent "Silicon Valley" taking root in London in the area between Shoreditch and Stratford. I scoured that area but found very little consistent with the hype in the press! Many people had never even heard of it! Perhaps I should start saving for a pilgrimage to the real McCoy, Silicon Valley itself!

To recover from the UK trip, I took my final outing of the year in South Africa . Driving on the road between Harare and Johannesburg, one can't help noticing how busy that route is, especially the volume of lorries. At first glance it almost suggests an economic boom! Sadly the reality is otherwise. The road traffic explosion is a direct result of implosion of the regional railways and airlines. There are convoys upon convoys of lorries trucking copper cathodes from Zambia all the way to the port of Durban by road! Copper is so heavy the roads have started collapsing too.
Air Zimbabwe finally gave up its ghost after decades as a financial zombie. In small ways and in big ways it could be a blessing in disguise. The long suffering Zimbabwean taxpayer no longer has to continue subsidizing a lost cause. More importantly, just like the collapse of the Zimbabwe dollar, the demise of Air Zimbabwe could help a subtle yet fundamental policy shift. Without a national airline we are nearer an open-skies policy than we have ever been. That could spawn competitive air fares to the benefit of both Zimbabweans and visitors alike. That is but a silver lining though. The bane of post-independence Africa remains our failure to maintain let alone build on inherited infrastructure.

An attempt to overhaul the inherited legal infrastructure of Zimbabwe is mired in deadlock among the major political parties. Some of the political party negotiators to the constitution-making process seem to negotiate by attrition! Notwithstanding this, we are likely to have presidential and other elections next year. Curiously individuals and businesses alike are dreading it. I wonder why! Reminds me of Russell Baker in his autobiography "Growing Up." Referring to his mother's competitive streak, he says whenever they played cards at home they had to let her win for the sake of peace in the home.

After my princely sum of 81 votes in the last parliamentary elections, I am still licking my wounds so I won't bother this time. I will stick to local government elections. I reckon there is more room to make a difference there. Having said that, 81 votes is a lot more than what Arthur Mutambara got. I think he garnered only 54. So in that sense I more than deserve to be a Deputy Prime Minister!

My maths degree took a back seat this year but I expect to resume it next year. At this rate it could be the turn of the century before I complete it! In contrast, my niece Chido (the one in blue)

completed her accountancy degree with the University of South Africa in record time this year. It took me at least a year longer to complete the same degree! That makes her living evidence that beauty and brains do mix after all.
Talking of bright women in the clan, I am spending Christmas with arguably the brightest of them all - my mother. In the year she sat her nursing final exams, she came out the top student countrywide. Even then I still think she made a career mistake. She is such a good cook, she should have been a professional chef. So I might have to contend with a fair amount of festive flab after the holidays.

I wish you all a good Christmas.

Safari Holiday 2012

In April 2011 I went on a very well organized tour of Israel with Oak Hall Expeditions (www.oakhall.co.uk), a Christian holiday company. Browsing through their website this year I discovered that they are reinstating their safari tours of Zimbabwe, previously suspended during the wilderness years( no pun intended). This time the safari tour was facilitated by ACTS of Mt Pleasant, Harare(www.actsoverland.com), also a Christian holiday company. I joined the camping package tour in its entirety from 17 August to 28 August 2012. It took us to Antelope Park, Hwange, Chobe National Park (Botswana)and Victoria Falls. I had been to all the places before except Chobe.

My earliest memories of Antelope Park date back to a school trip. In my days at Fletcher High School I served a stint as secretary of the Wildlife Club and the trip to Antelope Park was the pinnacle of our calendar. It was a very different game park from the sprawl of buildings that it is now. I remember there being only one building, a small stream with no weir and a modest collection of game. It nevertheless still impressed us.

Now there is enough to impress even the fussy. The documentary series Lion Country was filmed at Antelope Park. They have innovative long term lion conservation schemes in progress.  
As by-products of these schemes, guests are able to go walking and even hunting with lions. 
I found a lot more substance in the lion walk  than was apparent from the promotional pictures (www.antelopepark.co.zw).

The lion feeding was certainly not flattering to the image of lions. It left me with less respect for lions. They are noisy, selfish and filthy feeders  
Totally inconsistent with the royal image of the so called king of the jungle.

In addition to wild animals Antelope Park is also home to wild party animals. Our first night there was not the most auspicious start to the tour. There was a loud party not far from our camp site. The music was loud enough to vibrate my chest and carried on till 3:00am! Fortunately this was probably the only significant downside to the Antelope Park experience. The upside more than made up for it though.

Ivory Lodge Campsite in Hwange was tranquil, save for squabbling elephants at a nearby watering hole.   The salient feature of the campsite was that it was accessible to all animals in the Hwange Game Reserve and beyond. In other words there was no perimeter fence. My first experience of similar exposure was in 1999 at Swimuwini Rest Camp in Gonarezhou National Park. I was traveling alone at that time and on one of the nights I was the only person in the whole camp. The worst part was when I needed to run the 60 metre gauntlet to the ablution block in the middle of the night! After that experience I understood why one of the beds in the chalet I was in smelt of bed wetting.

In spite of the benefit of prior experience, last month at Ivory Lodge I was naughty enough to take excess water. So in the small hours of the morning, the inevitable call of nature happened. I agonized over the risk for almost an hour before the urgency overcame my fear. On emerging from the tent, I was pleasantly surprised to discover Ellie relaxing in front of the camp fire chatting to someone !

Now Ellie  has more courage than most. She was an inspiration to her fellow guests. I was one of her groupies who trailed her when she went bungee jumping
  
That photo looks amusing to me. Doesn't it look like her shorts have come off and dropped to her ankles?! I forgot to ask for her autograph but still got a hug.

Hwange Game Reserve in general is stagnating. There is nothing wrong with it but it just hasn't got it anymore, much like a girl I used to know. In contrast, Chobe National Park in Botswana has little going for it yet is mysteriously magnetic and full of vibrancy, much like another girl I used to know. One morning at the Sedudu gate I witnessed the biggest armada of game viewing Land Rovers I have ever seen. There was an intense sense of mission in the air as the queuing Land Rovers revved at the leash. The game drive that followed was fair for a morning drive. 

I have never had too much luck with morning game drives at Chobe or indeed anywhere else. So I looked forward more to the afternoon game viewing on the Chobe River cruise. By late afternoon, the relentless heat drives even reluctant animals to the river for a drink and/or swim. As expected, the cruise turned out to be most rewarding.

At school we had a handful of fellow pupils who were very hard to please. No matter how good the movie was, they always rubbished it saying they had seen better before. On this trip we had a similarly fastidious gentleman. No matter how good the game viewing was, he claimed he had seen better elsewhere. Fortunately it did not seem to spoil other guests' enjoyment too much.

One of the reasons suggested for the success of Chobe resorts is proximity to the Victoria Falls. Curiously Chobe now appears to have superseded Victoria Falls town in popularity, if number of cars in hotel car parks is anything to go by. I went through some of the Victoria Falls hotels and found further signs to corroborate this. Kazungula border post is very busy with day-trippers going to view the Victoria Falls but using Chobe as their springboard. What it means is that there are factors driving traffic away from Victoria Falls town. One of them could be greed. The last time I went to view the Victoria Falls I did not have to pay anything. This time I had to pay and foreigners have to fork out a whopping $30! I think it is a false economy that could be the tip of an iceberg driving away real big money. There is a growing culture of institutionalized extortion that is pervading many areas of Zimbabwean life well beyond holiday resorts. A plethora of unwarranted toll gates and endless spot fines are a case in point.

After the bad aftertaste of extortion had worn away, I went on to find the falls as glorious as ever in spite of the low water season.

In fact the geological features of the gorge are a lot more visible now (PHOTO13)
than they would be at full flood in May.

My previous camping trips had largely been limited to the Eastern Highlands of Zimbabwe where the biggest wild animal is probably the common duiker. So the idea of sleeping with only a piece of canvas between me and all the carnivores of Hwange Game Reserve was initially cause for apprehension. In hindsight, it was a dimension that enhanced the adventure. I probably would do it again. More importantly, I feel renewed and ready to get back to work tomorrow.

Diamond Jubilee Celebrations

The other week I was honoured with an invitation to celebrations marking Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II’s diamond jubilee.

Walter

Kevin

Walter; Ambassador Bronnert

Deputy Ambassador Cole (now Ambassador Designate for Cuba)

Dirk

As I reflected on the celebrations it was natural to review my direct and indirect interactions with royalty over the years. Growing up in rural Zimbabwe, I had endless fantasies regarding royalty. Two interfaces invoked most of the fantasies. One was the coins in circulation then, they bore Elizabetha Regina. The general circulation of coins in rural areas was not efficient. So a few King George VI coins would crop up every now and then, more than a decade into Queen Elizabeth’s reign. The other interface was stationery at school that was embossed O.H.M.S.
My family’s contact with royalty dates back to the early fifties. We grew up very proud of uncle Pauro

who was in the British South Africa Police(BSAP). In 1953 he had been seconded to the royal guard put together for a royal visit then. That was well before my time but his fame lives on. Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother came to Southern Rhodesia in 1953 for a number of engagements including laying the foundation stone of the University College of Rhodesia and Nyasaland which was founded as a college of the University of London. Even though uncle Pauro was a relatively new police recruit in the BSAP, he made it into the coveted royal guard , much to the envy of his longer-serving colleagues. The BSAP was a highly respected force, with the respect borne of a mixture of awe and fear. Awe because of their impressive discipline and fear because they were sometimes deployed to enforce racially oppressive legislation. In spite of the latter, they still garnered net admiration.
When I subsequently went to study in the UK, I was a tad taken aback to discover that there were anti-royals among the British populace. It certainly eroded some of the royal mystique. To further compound the exposure, a certain round of public spending cuts hit the royal family too. When the cuts were implemented, the British press ran a cartoon of royal footmen going to a fish and chip shop to buy some dinner for the royal family. I vividly remember the cartoon depicting one of the footmen asking the other whether it was the Duke who wanted a gherkin!
The silver lining was that of the two most powerful women in the UK at the time, the Queen had a lot less enemies than the Iron Lady, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. At least nobody ever pasted the Queen’s portrait to the urinal in the Students Union. Now that I am older and battle worn, I have much respect for Margaret Thatcher too. After recently enduring the ordeal of hyperinflation in Zimbabwe, I now understand very clearly why she was averse to printing money.
The only royal I have met in person so far is His Royal Highness the Duke of Kent, who is also the chancellor of the University of Surrey. I have met him twice, first when I graduated and then five years later when he hosted a reception for University of Surrey alumni at St James’s Palace in London.

My brother Livingstone (second from left) met the Queen in 1986.He was working for Standard Chartered Bank at the time and had been seconded to the bank’s head office in the City of London for a few years. It was then that the Queen came to open the Bank’s new headquarters building in Bishopsgate. The late Lord Barber (the one nearest to the Queen in the photo) was the chairman of Standard Chartered Bank at the time. That alone must have helped land the Queen as guest of honour.

The Queen’s only visit to Zimbabwe so far was in October 1991 when she came for the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting. I never got an opportunity to meet her because I was a nobody then. I still am!

The years may have eroded some of the mystique of royalty but they still remain special in my book. So I am proud to have been part of the celebrations to commemorate Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee.